I'm starting over.
Fresh start. New plan. True Focus.
I'm going to be honest with myself and everyone else. For the past 2 years now, I have been either dieting for a show or "relaxing" and eating almost whatever I wanted. While I truly thought that I was learning to live a balanced lifestyle, what I was actually training myself to do was live in a cycle. This is how it would go...diet for a show (lasts 8-12 weeks), eat like crazy for 1-2 weeks, then play this limbo game for 4-5 weeks which consisted of 1-2 days eating clean and then 1-2 days of giving into ice cream or a cookie or whatever.My workouts would stay consistent during this cycle but my eating was off. As soon as I decided on the next show, the cycle would start over again. I never really noticed the effects of this crazy cycle because I started training for the next show relatively quickly. Well, this time around, I am forced to be honest and deal with the cycle. My last show was July 30th. I currently do not have a "next show" planned, at least not for this season. It's officially 2 months since my last show and I have been in that limbo part of the cycle for way too long!! I am honestly not comfortable with my body right now. I don't fit all my clothes and I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. Now DO NOT take this the wrong way. I am not complaining or saying that I am "fat" or trying to give myself or anyone else a body complex. I am just stating the truth. I AM HOLDING TOO MUCH WEIGHT FOR MY BODY AND SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.
Today is the beginning of a new perspective. I know that living fit is more of a mind over matter thing than anything else, so I had to come back to the WHY behind my commitment to health and fitness. My WHY had turned into "I do this because I am prepping for a show" and that is not going to give me the fuel to keep this going for life. I sat and thought about my WHY and what it needed to be in order for me to continue to honor my commitment to health and fitness for life. I came up with these reasons WHY I will live fit...
1) Because I feel my best when I am eating clean and working out consistently (I fit my clothes, I have more energy, I feel more confident, my skin is clear, I am happy with myself).
2) Because we are thinking of starting a family sooner than later and I have to be at my best to be the best mom!!!
3) Because I always want my husband to think that I am the hottest woman on the planet, seriously...
Your WHY's might be different from mine and that's totally fine. The point is to be able to understand and articulate what will drive you to keep your commitments even when you don't feel like it :)
Back to my new perspective...Today I started living fit for me :) Not for a show, not for a sponsor, not because somebody told me too. I can't tell you how refreshing it feels to really be doing this for me LOL It made the whole day so much easier.
As a part of me being honest with myself, I have decided to post my food logs so I can be accountable to you (my amazing supporters, friends and family). My goal is to be completely transparent so that you can see my journey, because that's what it really is...a JOURNEY. There is no overnight magic pill or 2-week get slim quick scheme. It is a daily commitment and each day you get a little closer to your goal. The days turn into weeks and then months and then years and that makes up your journey. There will be good days, bad days and everything in between. The cool thing about being on the journey is that you will get to your goal!!!! You will achieve everything you want to achieve IF you stay committed. It's not about being perfect but getting back up after a moment that knocks you down!
Here is today's log
9am- 1 asian pear
10am- 4 egg whites, 1 ezekiel tortilla, 3 grape tomatoes, 1/3 oz goat cheese, chopped red onion and hot sauce
1215pm- 1 scoop whey protein w/ 2 tsp peanut butter
245pm- 4oz. broiled salmon, 1 cup brussel sprouts/fennel, 1/2 cup butternut squash
6pm- 1 scoop whey protein shake
8pm- 4 oz. chicken breast, 1/3 cup soybeans/corn/red pepper mix, 1 cup fennel
9pm- 1 salt free rice cake, 1 tsp peanut butter, 1/2 tsp honey
That's all for today :)